Trying (and failing) To Get An Agent

When I first decided that I wanted to be a novelist, finding the time to write was the hardest thing.

Then when I figured that out, getting past the halfway point on a story was the hardest thing.

Then when I made it to the end of my first novel, editing was the hardest thing (it was too hard to take a step back and see my first novel for what it was--a steaming pile of crap).

Then when my manuscript was finally polished, came the hardest thing so far, which still rings true seven years later: 

Querying Agents

I gave it my favorite Jurassic Park .gif and put it in huge, bold letters because it is the scariest, most nerve-wracking thing I have ever done (so far, at least). I have written 12 different versions of the query letter I sent for my first manuscript, and 5 versions for my second manuscript. No particular one seemed to pull in more requests than the other, which made me come to a scary realization: it's all based on the agent's taste. All you can do is extensive research on what each one likes, of course--but what if I waste my ONE shot? Because that's all you get: one shot with each agent, per manuscript.

HOW TERRIFYING IS THAT THOUGHT, WHEN YOU KNOW HOW MANY HUNDREDS OF QUERY LETTERS AGENTS GET PER WEEK? Literary Agents work SO hard to find new clients, while still editing, and submitting, and reading contracts for the clients they already represent. I have so much respect for what they do, don't get me wrong. I'd actually really like to be an agent if my writing dreams don't pan out the way I hope (or maybe even do both!).

But from what I understand, your first sentence has to immediately catch their attention, or you go straight into the "deleted" folder. Some agents like you to dive right into the plot details. Some like you to start with a personalized greeting. Some don't specify anything at all about what they prefer on their website, so you're driven to scouring the web for interviews about what worked for clients of theirs. 

When I read those kinds of posts, I am equally parts jealous and hopeful. 

(Maybe a teensy more jealous than hopeful.)

I wanted to write a post like this before I get an agent, because as a querying writer, reading posts like that makes me drink more wine than I probably should. 

"So you have an agent now, but you received 12 rejections beforehand? And we 'need to just keep trying?' Yeah. I am trying. 

I know it sounds bitter, but those are the thoughts I have every time I read a "I snagged an agent!" post. First off, agents aren't fish for you to snag. They are your hardworking allies in the publishing business. Secondly, it stings to open Twitter every day and see an agent that just rejected you tweet, "I am proud to announce I have a new client! Welcome to my team, *insert writer's twitter handle*!" 

It stings a little bit deeper when that writer is someone you know. You want to be (and ARE) so, so happy for that person, but you can't help but wonder what they have that you don't?

Is it their story hook? Their prose? Their plot twists? Their character's voice? Their query letter?

I try SO hard not to be jealous as my fellow writers get agents and book deals, but some days it's really hard to watch people achieve the dream I want over and over again, while I rack up more rejections. I have sent SO many query letters over the course of seven years, and have gotten nine total requests, with eight rejections (one is still pending, and I'm super excited about it, while trying not to get my hopes up at the same time).

 I know I am not entitled to ANYTHING in the publishing world, and I am grateful to have the friends I have in the business. I love each one, and they are all *amazing* writers who have earned every good opportunity they've gotten. But deep down, under my intense excitement for their successes, it makes each rejection of my own hurt a little bit more. 

But those writers I have befriended on Twitter, and at workshops/college, are my TRUE allies. They will be the ones who are there for me to talk to when I am finally in the business with them, and querying is no longer the hardest thing I am facing. I know publishing is a fickle, sometimes terrible business, but if your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough.

This twisted dream I have of being traditionally published is terrifying to me, but I still want to accomplish it more than anything. I am never giving up! It's just hard to fight through all the "Nopes" and "Not yets" to get to the one "YES THIS IS AMAZING GIVE IT TO ME NOW I WANT TO PAY YOU FOR THIS." I know my rejections mean I'm not quite ready, or that I (hopefully) just haven't yet found the one agent who will love, love, love it. 

I just needed to write a post that I can someday look back on, and realize that all the Agented Writer posts about how you just have to keep writing and keep trying were all REALLY SPOT ON. Also, I am NOT complaining about not being agented, because again, I know I am not entitled to one. I just needed to voice my inner struggles because I know there are people out there who feel the same way and are experiencing the same things, and hopefully we can band together while we work for what we want!

So here's to all my writer friends that are facing YOUR current "hardest thing"--whether it's finishing a draft, editing, writing a query letter, searching for an agent, waiting while your agent submits it to publishers, or any other tough things that are keeping you from your dreams! Don't get discouraged. It may not seem like it, but there are people going through the same things you are. 

We just have to stick together (and keep drinking wine)! 

**Also, for querying writers: If you haven't tried QueryTracker.com, PLEASE do so! It will make your life so much easier, and the basic features are free! I made an excel spreadsheet with my first MS, and it was more tiring than querying itself. This website has been a lifesaver for me this go-round.

And just FYI, because I love reading things like this on other writer's blogs:

WICKED ILLUSIONS, my 1st manuscript:

• Queries sent               = 94 
• Full/partial requests   =  7 (all ended in rejection)

*this manuscript was shelved for four years, but I am rewriting it now.

I am currently querying a different manuscript, SOUL RAIDERS, (which sparked the angst to write this post):

• Queries sent (so far)                = 37 
• Full/partial requests                 = 2 (one rejection, one still out with agent)
• Query rejections/no response  = 26

SMASH AND GRAB

My sweet friend and critique partner, Amy Christine Parker has a new book out this week!

So....

HAPPY BOOK BIRTHDAY-WEEK, AMY!!

*confetti*

*cupcakes*

*champagne*

 *girly screams*

How much do you LOVE this cover? I mean, I work at a bank and I think we should display this on the walls in the lobby. It's almost as beautiful as what's inside, so you should definitely go buy it, and read, and love it as much as I do. (CLICK ME TO GO TO AMAZON, but buy local and Indie if you can!) I have been reading and fan-girling over Amy's stuff for years, and she never fails to disappoint with suspense, twists, and loveable characters in her stories. 

She is an amazing writer, and I am a lucky girl to be able to call her my critique partner and friend!

Amy is doing a release-week-giveaway on her blog, so go check it out by CLICKING HERE, and enter to win some great books and other swag! 

And in honor of SMASH AND GRAB's release, I am going to choose my ultimate heist crew!

1.) Amy Christine Parker, obviously - since she spent a couple of years researching bank robberies while writing this book, and because I know she's pretty diabolical *cough* I mean, creative, she'd probably be a pro at planning the whole thing.

2.) Morgan Biggs - Morgan and I have been best friends for a long time, and I know that she would help me do anything. Also, Morgan is a very meticulous planner. She would go over our plans step by step and make sure we weren't missing important details!

3.) Travis Ebert - Travis is my boyfriend of two years, and he is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He's also super muscly, so not only could he figure out the more difficult parts of the heist, he could be my bodyguard if I needed one. Plus he's got a sock-it-to-em smile that could be a distraction if needed. :) 

4.) Miranda Green - Miranda is my other best friend, and she is the type who would help me bury a body and not ask any questions. Not saying my heist would go in this direction... But whatever mischief I get into, she'd be riding shot gun with a smile and a bottle of wine. My kind of girl! We'd "Thelma and Louise" it all the way to the desert.

5.) Carolyn Haines - Carolyn is an author who started as one of my creative writing professors in college, and eventually became a good friend. She is one of the bravest people I've ever met. I keep telling her that she NEEDS to write a memoir, because her life sounds like the greatest adventure I could ever imagine going on. She is devious, and delightful, and wicked smart--she'd be on every girl's dream heist team!

6.) Rachel Redding - Last, but certainly not least, is my big sister. It goes without saying that she would do whatever she had to do to protect me (much like our mom), but she is fearless and amazing, and she never gives up on anything. She never complains, and she succeeds in whatever she puts her heart into. She would be the perfect leader for our team!  

I hope all of you have friends who are as adventurous, creative, and intelligent as mine!

And, um, please don't actually go rob any banks. Just buy Amy's book and live it vicariously through her characters!

Smash your mouse clicker on that link above, and Grab it today!