Since I've only gotten answers from half of the agents I've queried, I feel like I may be writing this post prematurely. But I am a sensitive soul. When I love something, I LOOOVVVVE IT. When something makes me sad, I cry over things like toilet paper commercials for days. ("The baby bear has pieces of toilet paper stuck to his butt? POOR BABY BEAR HOW SAD!!!!" *wail*) When something makes me mad, I'm all, *STEFANIE SMASH ALL THE THINGS!!!*.
So after getting 10+ rejection letters from agents, I was surprised to find a brand new emotion that I'd never experienced before: crazy-pants-off-the-rocker-self-- instead of just my normal, sad-burrowing into-my-blankets-and-crying-over-toilet-paper-commercials-self.
You know how you always laugh at the crazy people on American Idol who can't carry a tune in a bucket, and then go all "Y'all gon' be sorry! YOU'LL SEE!" on the judges? Well laugh now, BUT I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL. After re-reading WICKED ILLUSIONS last night, I fell in love all over again with my two main characters. I LOVE THESE FICTIONAL PEOPLE, Y'ALL. I love the story, I love the setting, I love the plot-- I want to tape it to my chest and hug it forever. (Okay, maybe that's a little extreme, but ya know, this thing is my BABY). So when I received another rejection letter this morning, I went full blown American Idol crazy on my iPhone.
"You just don't know what you're missing, agent! You will be sorry that you didn't want to read this manuscript, agent! You just lost out on LOVE, agent! YOU'LL SEE! I'LL BE GREAT!"
(And no I didn't tell said agent these things, because I'm not actually insane. Well, I don't know, maybe yelling at my iPhone makes me a little insane).
After realizing how loopy I sounded, I took a step back and gently laid my iPhone down, apologized to it, then went and made blueberry muffins to make me feel better. This whole querying thing has made lose my ability to see the bigger picture. I want the world to love Lilly and Noah so badly that I am forgetting that they don't know them like I do. It's obvious that my query letter is not working the magic it should, since I've only gotten 1 request (that I'm still waiting for a response from).
So. Ahem. I have gathered the courage to ask a favor from you.
*gives you virtual blueberry muffins*. Will you read my query letter and tell me how it could be better?
I've had several people look over it already, but I figure that if you are reading this, you are most likely a writer/aspiring author like myself, and could give me fresh perspective. The other day, I entered a query contest with agent Suzie Townsend, where she is going to respond to each of them personally, telling the writer why she didn't want to request more material (unless, of course, she DOES request more material). I haven't heard back from her yet, seeing as how she received over 600 entries (O_O), but I would love to get as much feedback as I can.
(And yes, I've moved onto writing a new manuscript in case this one doesn't work out. That's what everyone always suggests for taking my mind off querying)
So anyway. Here is my query. Tear it apart! Be ruthless! (I have my blueberry muffins, so The Sanity is in tact. I promise I won't go American Idol crazy-pants on you. Hee hee)
Dear (Insert Agent):
Death is a run of the mill thing for sixteen-year-old Lilly Elliott. The town that she grew up in is more than just a little strange: its residents are trapped there. No one is allowed to move away from Ironbrook, Tennessee without the consequence of death. But that’s not all— milk spoils before its expiration date and plants wither for no reason. And most unexplained, at least one person dies every month at the hands of the suffocating black fog that no one can stop.
Lilly is accustomed to the weird things that happen in Ironbrook, though she longs to live somewhere normal. But when she accidentally brings a dead animal back to life, Things. Just. Get. Weirder. When a classmate reveals the truth to Lilly about who she is and what they both can do, Lilly is sucked into the world that goes on behind closed doors in Ironbrook— and things are never safe there. Lilly discovers that she has an ability that has been long buried deep inside of her— she can drain the life out of humans and keep it for herself, giving her the ability to live forever. But her loved ones—including the mysterious boy that keeps popping up in her dreams—are in danger. Will she be able to save them before their lives are stolen? And most importantly, will she be able to save herself… from herself?
WICKED ILLUSIONS is a story that explores the themes of family allegiance and the power of choice with splashes of magical realism, aimed towards a young adult audience. I think that WICKED ILLUSIONS is specifically different from most YA novels today because it touches upon the addiction of knowing that you are doing something wrong, but not knowing how to stop— which is something many teens face on a daily basis. WICKED ILLUSIONS will appeal to readers who've enjoyed BEAUTIFUL CREATURES and IMAGINARY GIRLS, and it is complete at 65,000 words.
I am currently working to obtain my bachelor’s degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing from the (insert my university here. No offense, but the internet has too many stalkers).
On a personal note, I have read several books by authors that you represent, such as (insert respective books I've read here), and I thought my manuscript would fit neatly into the realm of your literary taste.
Per your submission guidelines, I have included the first (insert # here) pages below, and would be delighted to send you the full manuscript upon request. This is a simultaneous submission. I appreciate you taking the time to consider my work.
Sincerely,
Stefanie Jones
*Update 12/02/11-- Thanks to my wonderful critique partner, I rewrote my query letter AH-GAIN-- and so far, I've gotten another full manuscript request!
*Update 12/02/11-- Thanks to my wonderful critique partner, I rewrote my query letter AH-GAIN-- and so far, I've gotten another full manuscript request!
