WHAT QUERY LETTERS DO TO YOUR FACE

So I mentioned a few weeks ago that I finished the novel I've been working on for three years. This was what my face looked like that day:

After I went through and edited it, had a couple of people read over it and then edited it some more, then edited again one more time, I thought it was ready for agent querying. As you probably know if you are an aspiring author like me, getting an agent is basically like getting a passport; with it, you can have amazing adventures and go to all the places you've dreamt of going. But without it, no pasaporte, no entrada, and you're stuck in your dinky little hometown (i.e. my awful job as a bank teller)

So after I sent my query letter to my top five agents, I began to realize that the three hundred or so words I'd chosen to describe my novel might not have been GOOD ENOUGH. My face after hitting send:

Most publishing companies do not accept "unsolicited manuscripts", or in layman's terms, "the fantabulous story that you made up and want to get published, but didn't want to have to pay anyone to sell it for you". Literary agents are basically the gatekeepers of author's dreams. They take your work and help you tighten it and perfect it, then they send it off to the magical land of New York City, where book babies are born. But to GET a literary agent is HARD. Hundreds of people hit the "send" button to Ms. Agent at the exact same time you do, putting your query letter smack dab in the middle of the dreaded slush pile. But everyone must start somewhere right? You just have to have that one little spark (out of hundreds) that catches the agent's eye and makes him/her want to read more. So you can imagine my face when all my insecurities began to run wild and I began to seriously doubt myself. "WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE THAT SPARK??? MY LIFE WILL BE OVERRRRRRRR!!!!!" 

So far it's been 1 week, and I haven't heard a peep from any of the five agents I queried. Which in all honesty, is completely normal. Most agents say it can take them up to six/eight weeks to even GET to your query in their inbox, so it's quite possible none of the agents I queried have even read my pitch yet. But still. This is my face NOW.

So.... Yeah.... The waiting continues. I am completely, 100% terrified of what I have done. But I want more than anything to get published, and finding the right agent is the key to the magical door of that dream. Chasing your dreams is amazing. It's invigorating. It's fun. And most of all, it's SCARY. But I think fear is what makes it all worthwhile. If things like writing a book or diving out of an airplane were easy, nobody would dream of doing them, and therefore, nobody would dream. Here's to making our dreams come true, no matter how terrifying/nail-biting/ulcer-making/sleepless-night-causing they are. 

And meanwhile, every time I hear the "ping" sound that means I have a new email, my face looks like this: