Life Is Beautiful

 

Dear Julia,

I just want you to know that you are so loved. I've thought about you at least 1,697 times today. I found myself crying in the middle of Target this afternoon because it seemed like every time I turned around, there you were. Pieces of your beautiful soul are everywhere. 

I've only known you for two years, but you have no idea what an impact you made on me in that short time. 

1.) The fact that from Day 1 of meeting me, you called me Stefani ("you know, like Gwen?") and never called me anything but.  

2.) The way you shared your addiction to chewy sweet tarts with me (thanks for that, by the way. Those things are like crack). 

3.) The way you sang "Georgia" every time anyone did a Waffle House deposit. 

4.) You were the only person I knew who shared a slight obsession with me over Leonardo DiCaprio, because he has somehow managed to get MORE good looking since Titanic. "Can't repeat the past? Oh I assure you, old sport, you can." (You can pretend to die in the ocean as a poor guy and then come back as a rich guy, only to actually die in a pool--our Great Gatsby/Titanic conspiracy theory!)

5.) Even though you sort of tortured Jade's cat (let's not forget the time you shaved him), I know deep down you really loved him. 

6.) And then there was the night that we both drank too much, yet you still rubbed my back while I threw up hot wings in some guy's driveway. 

ALL things I will never forget. 

But the way you lit up every room you entered was my favorite. I could have been having the worst day, and you would walk in and change the atmosphere of the entire building, making it impossible to not be happy. You had a presence about you that will continue to live on for years and years to come, because nobody that knew you can think about you and not smile. 

Not only could you always make everyone laugh, but you had the biggest heart. I'll never forget the day you told off the man in the doctor's office because he was making fun of his autistic son. And the little boy you bought Christmas presents for because he told you that Santa wasn't going to come see him this year. And even the day you insisted I take your hair tie because you couldn't stand to see me wad mine up with a rubber band, because you knew it would "hurt like a bitch" later, taking it out. You always saw the best in people (with that one exception that we'll just keep between us, because I totally agree with you) and it rubbed off on every single one.

You came from one of the most amazing families I've had the pleasure of meeting, and I know that they had a huge part in making you who you were. You can take comfort in the fact of knowing that virtually every one of the people who you have made friends with have been there to help, or have offered to help them get through this rough week. I have never seen so much food in one kitchen in my life. You are treasured by SO many people, sweet girl.

The day you stopped breathing was not the day your life ended. I am just ONE of the hundreds of people you have touched. Every time someone has a memory of you--and believe me, you are not the type of girl people will EVER forget--your life is carried on. Life IS beautiful, as you loved to say. And you can bet that none of us will ever take for that granted. Because after all, "YOLO, baby!" I love you, Joo-Ya!! You will be with me, always. 

               

NaNoWriMo 2013 Vlog!

HAPPY NANOWRIMO!!!!!!!

(Sorry for the crappy quality of the video. I didn't want to take the time to charge my camera and such.)

It's Not All True!

*squints* Blogger? Is that you??

HI!!!!

This is indeed NOT a mirage, but ME actually posting a new blog!

I have had several people become worried about me after reading my past few short stories (in combination with everything I’ve been through the past year, I kind of don’t blame them.) Yes, it’s true that writers channel their aggressions, fears, and sadness into their writing, but here’s the thing: WE’RE WRITERS. Our imaginations are INSANE, and we take our feelings and put them into stories or songs, and they tend to get elaborated in the process.

Take Taylor Swift, for example. Just by listening to her past three records, you would think she’s a batshit crazy, obsessive, “I’ll-boil-your-bunny” type of girlfriend. I think she’s actually a really nice girl. But she’s a writer. It’s the only way we know how to get our emotions out of our bodies so we can move on.

Writing is the most cathartic thing in the world to me. It is better than any kind of professional therapy, because when I write, I literally feel whatever it is that’s bothering me leave my soul.

Last week, I had quite a terrible break-down-and-cry sort of day.  It was thanks to a culmination of things—work, student loans, lack of sleep, and a sinus infection (among other things)—but I was feeling completely overwhelmed and stressed out with my life. I had a short story due, so instead of working on my manuscript, I opened a completely blank page and just started writing.

 I never know where I’m going with my short stories until they’re almost done, and when I got to the end of this one, I realized that I wanted it to have a happy ending. But I couldn’t bring myself to end it happily because of everything I’d put up with that day. So I tortured my character emotionally, and IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER. My mood took a complete turn in the opposite direction, because not only had I just found a way to get the sadness out of my head, I’d just written something I was pretty proud of.

So even if you aren’t a writer, YOU SHOULD WRITE. I am FIRM believer that saying how you feel on paper will always make you feel better. When I’m mad, I’ll open a blank word document and just type until I’ve said everything I want to say. Who cares about spelling or punctuation or correct grammar? It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you that getting it out of your mind—where it’s poisoning your thoughts—is the key to staying happy. Type it up, read it, delete it (or save it if you want to!) and I promise you’ll be able to move on with your life and forget about whatever it was that upsetting you.

So go write your feelings! Now!

I'm Still Here!

HELLO WORLD! I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!

I know I have been missing from Twitter, my blog, and The Fiction Femme Fatale for quite some time, and I wanted to let everyone know that I'm still kicking.

My life has changed quite a bit over the past six months, and unfortunately, no it's not anything good and exciting like getting an agent or a book deal. Actually, I haven't really written anything at all since, oh, about August.

YEAH.

You may have noticed a name change on all my pages, and if you're as smart as I know you are (because if you're reading my blog, you're obviously a smart cookie) you can put two and two together without me having to spell it out.

But I'm moving on, I'm doing.... better, and and I'm writing again. So look for a new short story by me at FFF this month! Also, I'm buckling down and I WILL finish my work in progress by the end of the summer. I lost a lot of valuable time while I was figuring things out and having my quarter-life crisis, and I'm ready to get back in the swing of things!

I'm sorry this blog post is not funny or amusing.

Here is a cute picture of a moose to make up for it.

Love Your Neighbor

I have tried my best to hold my tongue over the whole Chick-Fil-A thing. But I have found over the past few days that I feel very strongly about this, and since this is my blog, I am going to use it as an outlet to say how I feel. Read it or don't, I am not trying to change anyone's mind or beliefs. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I do not judge anyone who believes anything other than what I do.

What Do You Do When Your Book Idea Isn't Unique?

WHY, OF COURSE YOUR IDEA IS UNIQUE!!!

I recently came across this problem while reading a new book. My work in progress is something that I've  been planning for about three years. It's a concept that has always intrigued me, and I'd never read any other YA book with this storyline. As I plotted the story out, I wanted to pat myself on the back and congratulate my genius brain for being so awesome because NO ONE HAD EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE.

Then I sat down to read Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi. My first thoughts:

• Oh my gosh, y'all this book is so good. 
• Her prose! ACK! ENVY! Beautiful! I want to pet the pages!
• This character is so beautifully broken that I want to jump inside the novel and give her a hug! (Even though, you know, Juliette would kill me... But she wouldn't feel good about it.)

Then I got to a part that completely shattered me. (You see what I did there?) One of her main plot points is EXACTLY like mine. I was crushed. Here is this amazing writer, already agented by one of the top agents in the industry, published by one of the most prestigious YA houses in America, and to top it all off, her prose could suffocate mine like a sugar coated boa constrictor. 

I stopped writing for weeks. I mean, what was I going to do? I was already halfway through my WIP and what was the point of continuing it? Surely no agent is going to want to take on a copycat project. I felt so defeated that I considered scrapping the 20,000 words I had and starting completely over-- even though I LOVED those 20,000 words like WHOA. 

This project was SO different from my previous manuscript that is now shelved, and I just KNEW that it was going to be the one to get me an agent. It had a unique plot and it was science fiction (which is wanted in the YA market right now), so I was going to have to no trouble finding an agent this time. 

But someone got to the finish line before me.

So what DO you do when you see your genius book idea written by someone else? YOU WRITE IT ANYWAY. 

After five weeks of abandoning my manuscript and feeding my depression over it, I said, "You know what? I'm going to write this novel anyway!" My main character is nothing like Shatter Me's Juliette. Actually, my main character is what classifies the novel as science fiction. THAT was different than Shatter Me. 

And that was just the first of a string of things that I realized made my novel unique from Tahereh's. It really is true that the execution of a concept is what makes you different from everyone else who has thought of the same thing. No one thinks exactly alike-- it's what makes us all unique. (There I go, sounding like a kindergarten teacher. Everyone join hands, let's sing Kumbaya) 

So even if you have an idea for the NEXT BIG NOVEL and then see it a week later on a Barnes and Noble shelf, write it anyway! I promise that it will turn out 97.6% different than anyone else's similar idea. (My math may be off by a bit. It's not my strong suit). 

(NOTE: If for some reason Tahereh Mafi ever reads this post, please know: I am a huge fan of yours! No disrespect was intended for you or your amazing book. And how cool is it that Tahereh Mafi is reading my blog right now?)

When It's Time To Shelve Your Manuscript...